Beyond the clichés, a unique childhood: this Nice psychiatrist deciphers the specific needs of an only child

The only child drags behind him a string of clichés: capricious, egocentric, solitary...

Yet, growing up without brothers or sisters means, above all, evolving in a unique family universe, where relationships, expectations and experiences take on a particular dimension.

Far from popular belief, the reality of an only child is often much more nuanced and rich than we imagine.

A development rich in opportunities

Being an only child does indeed have, according to Dr. Jérôme Palazzolo, a psychiatrist in Nice, advantages that are often overlooked, starting with " the quality of attention received."

"With no siblings, parents are less spread out and are able to devote more time, energy and resources to their child. This availability can foster an environment where the child feels listened to and encouraged," he explains.

This particular context also encourages the learning of autonomy. " The only child, accustomed to playing alone and organizing his activities, quickly develops an ability to manage his time and take initiatives."

Spending a lot of time with adults often fosters "early maturity and self-confidence, which translates into ease in communication and strong self-esteem."

Furthermore, attentive parental support generally encourages strong academic motivation and personal investment in learning.

Educational and social challenges

Being the center of family attention and concerns certainly strengthens the feeling of security. On the other hand, excessive solicitude can hinder the learning of autonomy, warns the psychiatrist. " Overprotection, even well-intentioned, risks making the child less able to cope with frustrations and unexpected events ."

Additionally, the absence of siblings sometimes deprives children of opportunities to learn how to share, manage conflict, or negotiate. " If parents don't compensate for this lack with varied social interactions, children may have difficulty developing certain relational skills and opening up to others."

It should also be noted that an only child may feel increased pressure to meet their parents' expectations (academic success, exemplary behavior, social success, etc.), due to the lack of siblings with whom to share or put these expectations into perspective.

The trap of screens to keep him busy

Finally, in a society where screens are omnipresent, it is tempting for parents to use them to occupy their only child.

" Before the age of 6, it is not recommended to leave a child alone in front of a screen," warns Dr. Palazzolo . "At this age, the brain especially needs human interaction to learn to socialize and think. Excessive exposure promotes passivity, slows down the learning of social relationships and can reinforce the feeling of loneliness (read elsewhere).

Relational peculiarities in adulthood

Being an only child can influence how you form relationships in adulthood, whether they are friendships, romantic relationships, or professional relationships.

Some people who grew up without siblings value their independence and approach relationships in a more thoughtful and introspective way.

" This doesn't mean they are incapable of attachment, but simply that they build their bonds according to their own benchmarks. Each story remains unique, however: the essential thing is to forge a personality in accordance with one's values ​​and experiences."

It's important to remember that being an only child doesn't alone determine an individual's personality or balance. As the specialist points out, "it's not the family structure, but rather the educational environment that shapes personality."

Does he feel more lonely?

According to the psychiatrist, the boredom felt by some only children is not necessarily linked to the absence of siblings; it can also result from a lack of parental availability or difficulties in making friends.

" The real problem is that many children try to fill the void by multiplying organized activities or surrounding themselves with sophisticated toys or even taking refuge in screens without ever giving way to boredom. However, boredom, far from being an enemy, can become a formidable source of creativity and imagination, provided it is tamed ," insists Dr. Palazzolo.