What it means to look away when talking to someone, according to psychology

Averting one's gaze during a conversation is a gesture that can have various psychological interpretations, depending on the context and the relationship between the people involved. Often, it can indicate something as simple as being uncomfortable, nervous, or distracted, but there may also be other hidden psychological factors that may go unnoticed at first glance.

Since interpretations can be varied, and the underlying reason based on different circumstances, we consulted psychologist Lara Ferreiro , who analyzes the possible causes and their emotional consequences.

Some causes that cause looking away

As the psychologist explains, "people who feel uncomfortable in a social interaction tend to look away to reduce anxiety . This phenomenon is most often observed in interactions with strangers or in situations of high emotional stress."

It's no wonder some people associate averting their gaze with a potential lack of sincerity, and also with guilt. "They say the eyes are the mirror of the soul , and many people are able to detect an entire inner world in others just by observing their gaze."

According to a study published in the Journal of Behavioral Research and Therapy , eye averting is a common behavior in people with high shame sensitivity . Eighty-five percent of participants who experienced guilt or shame tended to reduce eye contact during conversations about topics they found personal or uncomfortable.

Another possible reason for this gesture, which could be considered rude, is that it helps some people better focus on what they're going to say or how they plan to respond. "Some psychologists point out that looking to the side allows people to access different memory systems, a phenomenon known in psychology as ocular laterality. Looking to the left can be associated with remembering past events, while looking to the right with constructing new ideas."

Hidden psychological factors of looking away in a conversation

Considering other, deeper causes, the expert points out that "looking away can be an emotional self-protection mechanism in situations that make us feel vulnerable or judged. People who suffer from social anxiety, for example, may avoid eye contact to protect themselves from feeling evaluated or judged."

It can also be "an unconscious strategy to reduce the emotional intensity of a difficult conversation. Looking away allows us to distance ourselves from the emotions we are experiencing. We may even look away, indicating that we are no longer interested in continuing the conversation."

Some people do this "to try to control the impression they're giving . Avoiding prolonged eye contact can reduce the likelihood of an unwanted emotional reaction, such as blushing or flushing, being noticed. Those who tend to worry a lot about their self-image look away to reflect internally before responding, which helps them maintain their composure," Ferreiro adds.

The role of cultural differences in our gestures

Cultural norms play an important role in how we interpret eye contact. In cultures like Asian culture, prolonged direct eye contact can be perceived as disrespectful or aggressive , so averting your gaze is considered a sign of respect.

In Western cultures, a lack of eye contact can be interpreted as a sign of insecurity or disinterest , which adds another layer of complexity to the interpretation of this gesture. Therefore, and interestingly, "looking away can also be a sign of attraction. When someone is attracted, they may make eye contact, but then look away as an unconscious attempt to hide their feelings."

This is how we behave during an uncomfortable conversation

Psychologist Lara Ferreiro talks about emotional disconnection, another cause of a gesture like looking away during a conversation: "It could be a way of emotionally disconnecting , especially when the subject is sensitive. This behavior may indicate that the person feels emotionally overwhelmed and needs to disconnect to deal with their feelings."

Thus, and with so many facets, the act of averting one's gaze is much more complex than it might seem, and its meaning and consequences will vary depending on the context or the person's emotional state. "The important thing is not to prejudge a person who has averted their gaze while talking to us, since it's more likely they're shy, and we should command a certain degree of respect," says Ferreiro.

And he concludes: "If we detect that this gaze shift is not common in the person we are speaking to, it may indicate something more serious and hidden, and we should pay more attention to this nonverbal language and our own intuition about what may be happening."

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